Updated: Aug 10
Unfortunately, tragedy touches us all at some point in our lives. In the moment, it may feel like nothing can lift your spirits and pick you up, but as time goes on, there are certain coping mechanisms you can adopt to help you move forward.
Moving forward is a critical step because if you don't accept what has happened, you may be holding onto the grief forever.
The Stages of Grief
You probably have heard of the 5 stages of grief if not there is plenty of information available on the web. Contrary to all the information on the 5 stages, grief doesn’t necessarily work in stages nor is it the same for everyone.
You may experience some of the emotions associated with the 5 stages of grief but it is not a catch all for everything you will experience as everyone’s grief journey is different. When my son was murdered, I experienced all 5 stages of grief and some. If you experience a tragedy there is a high probability that you will experience a lot if not all of them as well.
To bounce back allow your emotions to run their course, when you do it will make it just a little bit easier for you to take your first steps forward.
5 Stage of Grief:
1. Denial. In the initial shock of a tragedy, your first reaction might be to deny that it even happened. At the time it may be the best way for your body to avoid the pain. Depending on what happened, this stage can last from moments to weeks. However, staying at this stage is detrimental since you're never really facing or accepting what has happened.
2. Guilt. Guilt is usually a part of grief whether or not you even have a reason to feel guilty. When you look to a situation after it occurred, it's easy to point out the things you "should have done." Take the time to feel the pain but do not blame yourself for the tragedy especially if you did not physically and intentionally cause it .
3. Anger. It probably won't be long before anger sets in. You've realized that you have no control and there is nothing you can do to repair the tragic situation. It's important to feel your anger, but at the same time you must not allow yourself to be controlled by it. You don't want to cause lasting damage to yourself or someone else.
4. Depression. This stage will often last a long time. While you might not feel like talking with friends, it's an important thing to do when you're feeling depressed. Depression when ou are grieving is a result of your emotional loss and not due to a mental health issue. Be mindful that if you seek medical help, there is a high probably medicine may not solve your problem.
5. Acceptance. This is where you have accepted what has happened and there is nothing you can do about the past. You start to feel hopeful about the future. Although things may have changed, you have started to create a new normal for yourself.
When You Feel Stuck
It's common to feel stuck in a certain stage of grief. This is especially true when it comes to depression. If you are sick and tired of feeling the way you are then it time to seek professional help. A grief coach is a great alternative to tradition therapy as most coaches have experienced significant loss in their own lives and have first hand experience on adjusting to a new life. Like other coaches a grief coach will use their experience to help you put a plan in place that will help you move forward while you are processing your loss.
Latisa Be is a certified grief coach helping women to heal the wounds of the past so they can live a happier and healthier life. She teaches women who are ready to do something different to let go of emotional pain that has been holding them hostage for years. If you are ready to let go, schedule a free discovery session with Latisa